Yep, so I realized that my WHOLE internet and marketing image did not fit me anymore, honestly, maybe it never did.
I had it exactly the way I wanted it, beautiful and calm and serene. I love the beautiful and sophisticated pages out there with all the Light shining through, and that’s what I was trying to get across, but it’s not me.
Whenever I thought about posting an article or opinion about anything, I began to realize that my ideas just didn’t fit the image that I’d cultivated. As beautiful as that was, it just didn’t reflect who I am.
Sure, I Meditate and Journey. I Reiki and Earth. But I also cuss and get pissed, I’m loud and opinionated, and sometimes obnoxious. (OK, more than sometimes.) That’s human. It’s not about all this “rise above” bullshit, it’s not about banishing thoughts and feelings that people tell you are of a “low vibration”, it’s not about some sort of airy-fairy “I fart rainbows and crap sunshine” schtick. It’s not about walking around with your high-and-mighty nose in the air like your sh*t don’t stink and making others feel like less.
Don’t let yourself be pressured into trying to fit some spiritual mold that just doesn’t fit. Be YOU! YOU are the only one that knows your path, you are the only one walking it, you are the only one who CAN walk it. Read, learn, integrate the best of what you find along the way, but DON’T lose yourself trying to fit ANYONE ELSE’S idea of who you should be!
Don’t get me wrong, there are/were a few genuinely Enlightened beings that have graced this Earth (who they are and what constitutes Enlightenment are not up for debate in this forum), but that’s not what this life is for! It’s for dancing in the rain and making mud pies and sweating and swearing and crying and loving and hurting and starting all over, hopefully wiser.
It’s about BALANCE, it’s about being REAL.
Don’t deny your Shadow, it’s just as much you as anything; who’s to tell you where your shadow ends and your light begins? I you’re not hurting anyone, including yourself, BE IT, DO IT, whatever “IT” is!
Embrace all of you!
That being said, I shall endeavor to shake off the idea of “image” and “marketing” and just be the only thing I can: the real, authentic, messy, ME; and in doing so I hope to help as many people as I can.
From here on, I’ll be on a conscious journey of rediscovery, of revolution, of recreation.
Just so there’s no mistake, I’m a pierced, tattooed, tree hugging, bug loving, animal saving, crazy cat lady, geek, liberal, neo-hippie, flower child, LGBT allied, Earth worshiping, Spiritualist, Pagan, Alpha female Goddess! I like to sleep in and stay up late. I like to sleep in the sun and dance under the moon. I can be your best friend or your worst enemy, so if you don’t like it, **** off!
One thought on “Just who am I anyway?”
Cristine I can almost feel you breaking out of some sort of shell as you wrote this, or like you are finally breathing some fresh air.
+10 for being a fellow crazy cat lady though ❤
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